Almost 2 years....

My how things.....change.....as each day goes by I grow a little colder and colder to the world. Which is a shame, I always have had ambitions....and I had little to do with those who didn't. (have ambitions)......and the tables turn, while I get married a couple of times, and have a couple of children....all my focus and attention turned to them.....while I was still able to manage a great deal of selfishness and jealousy at the same time.
Never picking a specific skill or trade, I left that in God's hands.....and He definitley took it personal, I haven't had a days rest since. I have been in the wilderness as John the Baptist. Drifting.....without the all important rudder. I have wasted time, however God has promised a return that surpasses any imagination. I am learning to be a vessel. I love my children.....I can't readily accept the fact Aspergers is a part of my life.....Nikki Bacharach and Dan Aykroyd know. My son Tanner is textbook.
It has explained many pieces of a puzzle that could never be finished, autism is never finished, it is adapted to.....as you grow older you are able to adapt quietly....YOU CAN'T TAKE A PILL FOR IT.....you can only take meds that relieve anxiety....(there is no "happy" pill)...its ok to feel down.....especially when you have overwhelming obstacles that the most sane would balk at. I dont think this is a great outlet (blogspot) but I will try it...I have been using myspace and lying like a domino player on facebook......yeah I really put on my face there.....pretending things are the way ....I would like them to be. I will include this in my web-site....why not....the truth is liberating. yes....Maxwell vs Maxwell.....we can be our own worst enemy!